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[09 Jan 2007|07:17pm] |
right now i feel like im a fucking joke, like my friends think im a joke and a person with little or no morals. this hurts more then anything.
is there anything out there i cant fuck up? anything?
this shit is gone and so is my myspace and my screen name i guess. ill make a new one.
keep in touch americanstan@gmail.com
im gonna disappear for a while.
My ego has been bruised,
Havent you heard the news?
Used my last excuse, now I'm falling.
Just cant see through my lies,
See the ghost behind my eyes,
Severed all my ties,
Said my goodbyes.
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[04 Jan 2007|06:50pm] |
these songs kept me alive today, two great songs from two great bands!
I used to believe
That you and me
Were gonna shimmer
Like our spikes and chains,
And that the beauty
Of our brashness
Spoke for itself.
Spoke for itself.
When staying awake meant feeling alive.
We were so young, and so cutthroat.
But in the end,
Everything I thought
Meant so much
Didn't mean a thing.
And I can't seem to find the words Anymore.
Anymore.
And I can't seem to find the words Anymore.
Anymore.
I used to believe
That you and me
Were gonna shimmer
Like our spikes and chains,
And that the beauty
Of our brashness
Spoke for itself.
When staying awake meant feeling alive.
We were so young, and so cutthroat.
And yes, I still fucking remember.
I felt it go through me like a shock.
And yes, I still fucking remember standing on these city streets.
And yes, I still fucking remember.
I felt it go through me like a shock.
And yes, I still fucking remember standing on these city streets.
We were gonna change the world.
I didn't change shit.
It didn't mean shit.
We didn't change shit.
We were gonna change the world.
I ain't changing shit.
It didn't mean shit.
We didn't change shit.
There's movement in the distance
These baits are what I hear
Corruption, greed and feud are all I see
You're in a disarray
Things used to be a different way
Whatever happened to the golden age
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again
One false move and we're all dead
Here I am
I'm back at the crossroads again
let me stand let me stand let me stand
On top of the mountain again
There's movement in the distance
Gunshots are all I hear
This petty resistance is all I see
I want to walk away
Remember better days
We watch the death of something beautiful
It's gone yeah it's gone away
So don't ever turn your back again
One false move and we're all dead
When we find a problem
We never look back and say
One chance, one moment
It's gone so easily
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| dear 2007 |
[01 Jan 2007|05:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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L.O.J.- dirty faces |
] |
fuck you already
sorry for those who i was short with, didnt say goodbye to, or shoved for steam rolling me last night. i didnt mean anything by it. i was being a big baby.
im about to leave for the house show, i hope it works out.
im trying to put my best foot forward but it seems like life is one step forward two steps back
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[01 Jan 2007|07:05am] |
its now a new year but i feel no different.
i cant begin to describe how i feel right now, im lost.
this year i have
- fell in and out of love
- saw life and death
- lied, cheated, and stole and im not proud of any of it
- i have been hurt as well as hurt others
- reached the top and fell right back to the bottom
- seen both sides of hate
- learned from my mistakes
- never gave up
i cried on the way home, im confused, and im not sure what the right thing to do is.
fuck it
i can't keep this shit up.
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